Back in his school days, life was so much simpler for Dave. At home he played computer games, in school he slept and conversations with friends focused on comic books, vampires and zombies. One such conversation had his friend Macca telling him about a great book he was reading,
"It's really cool. Everyone on Earth has been turned into a vampire and only one man is left alone to fight them."
"You realise," said Dave, "That that makes him the bad guy."
"No. He's cool."
"If he's the last man on Earth then the vampires can't be killing anyone and he's not protecting anyone. He's the bad guy."
Skip ahead a week or two.
"Yeah, turns out you were right. The end of the book he realises he's the monster. The vampires talk about him as a legend. A creature of the day."
Skip ahead seven years.
Will Smith in a new movie were he's the last man on Earth and everyone else has turned into a monster.
'Hmmm...', thought Dave, 'That sounds familar...'
Skip ahead another year.
Dave had now been without Jean for a month. That morning he decided to give blood. Later, bored and finding it difficult to type with a plaster on his right hand and a needle hole in his left arm, he headed over to TVlinks to find something to watch.
"I am Legend", Will Smith, last man on Earth battling monsters. Switch Earth with his house and monsters with a thesis and Dave could relate.
Story time:
Scientists have mutated the measles virus to create a cure for cancer. Yay! Unfotunately it mutates again and ends up having some small side effects: 90% of infected die, remaining 10% lose intellect, suffer from increased rage, cannibalistic tendencies and become hyper sensitive to sunlight to such an extent that it kills them. It also becomes super contagious. On the plus side, no more cancer and improved night vision.
Less than 1% of people are immune. Unfortunately for them, the infected like eating them and three years after the outbreak only Will is left, with his dog Sam of cause.
Life isn't too bad for Will. In the morning he hunts deer which are now roaming the empty streets of new york. At midday he waits around by the docks to see if anyone has responded to his constant radio signal which keeps repeating a message which says something like "Friends wanted, come see me by the dock, I'm there everyday at noon," but he must come across too needy because no one ever shows. In the afternoon he plays around in his lab with infected rats to find a cure. If something seems to work on a rat he catches an infected human to play with. So far they all die on him. At night he locks up his house and has a nice sleep. Or watches a DVD. He's seen Shrek so many times he knows every word of it.
*Spoilers ahead, look away now.*
Isn't it strange how nothing can really happen for three years then suddenly it all happens at once? It's Will's bday, he ends up getting in a fight, his dog gets infected, he kills his dog, he loses will to live, goes out to kill infected at night, is about to die when someone saves him. Someone responded to his radio call. Good timing or what? He stays consious just long enough to tell them where he lives.
It's a woman and a kid, using some kind of bright light to scare away the infected. They're immune like Will, heard his radio call. Came to say hi as they pass through, they're on their way to a place up in the mountains where all the other surivors are. Will seems upset, "No, your ruining the story, I'm suppose to be the last man on Earth. Maybe a girl and a kid I can just about accept, but a whole village of survivors in the mountains? That takes the biscuit."
Night falls, the infected show up wanting candy. "Trick or Treat". Turns out they were followed home last night. Not to worry, Will's had three years to transform his home into a fortress. Less than 3 minutes later the infected are inside. The three run down into the lab, the infected not far behind them, and lock themsleves in an isolated glass chamber where they find Will's latest test dummy girl is actually starting to turn human again. Again, great timing or what?
A male pushes his way to the front of the infected and starts hurling himself at the glass. It begins to crack.
The movie now has two alternative endings. Lots of internet debate goes on as to which is better.
The original ending tries to follow closer to the book. Will realises this male is the females partner and the infected just want her back. There are clues throughtout the movie that the infected still have basic human emotions and Will realises they can still love. He opens the doors, releases the girl and the infected go away happy. He remembers all the infected he has killed so far and realises he is the monster.
A test audience didn't like this ending, so they changed it. The ending it was released with is as follows:
Will realises they have no hope. They're trapped. He takes a sample of the test dummies blood gives it to the girl with the kid, shoves them in a hole in the wall and tells them to stay there till dawn, the blood has the cure in it. He then pulls out a hand grenade and blows himself and the infected to little bits. The next day the girl and the kid drive to the safe spot in the mountains they were talking about. It's there, just like they said, full of survivors. Will becomes a legend. The man who gave his life to save humanity.
There are pleanty of questionable moments in the film. For example, why were the girl and the kid still around at night when Will needed saving? Rule number one of survival being don't go out at night, how did they manage to survive so long? Why was Will's house so rubbish? Given the situation you'd imagine at least that the place to be packed full of weapons and ammo "just in case" and a load of UV lights wouldn't hurt. Some kind of excape plan maybe? I mean he has had three years to think about it, with enough spare time to memorise every word of Shrek.
But none of those littler things matter. The main let down is that the ending sucked. Both of them.
In the first, despite the clues that the infected have feelings, the idea that they just walk away is stupid. They have a history of eating the non-infected, what stops them from killing Will and co? Lets say they can be thought of as primative humans. Primative humans slaughtered all other evolving monkeys to extinction and usually weren't very nice to each other either. Will should be dead.
In the second, WTF? There is a village of survivors in the mountains less than a days ride away?!?! And not one of these survivors thought about trying to contact the outside world? Will has been sending out a radio message "on every frequency" every day for three years. Can't get a signal up in the hills. Well send the occasinal person down. It's perfectly save during the day. Send out your own messages. Swine.
*Spoilers finished, you can look back now.*
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Hancock
The original John Hancock was some American guy, famous for signing some American independence paper or some such. Not well known this side of the pond, but important enough to the Americans that "John Hancock" became slang for "signiture".
This latest John Hancock will prove to be far more rememberable. An amazing film, although judging by various internet comments floating around it tends to have a Marmitian feel to it, in that you either love it or you hate it. Story time.
80 years ago, a man woke in hospital with no memory of who or what he was. The big hole in his head healed up pretty darn quick and any attempt to give him needles simply saw them brake on his skin. Had the accident somehow made him superhuman? Or if he had always been superhuman, how did he get the big hole in his head to begin with? No one knew. Despite the story being all over the news, no one ever came to tell him who he was. No one ever showed up. He was alone.
On leaving the hospital he was asked to put his "John Hancock" on a document. He took this as his name.
Skip ahead 80 years. Police cars racing after a get-away car. Bullets flying everywhere. The Americans call it a Monday.
"Hancock?"
"uurr.."
"Hancock?!"
John Hancock (Will Smith), lay face down on a public bench, surrounded by empty beer bottles. A little child attempting to wake him.
"What's up kid?"
"Badguys," said the child, impatiently, pointing to the news report. Stopping just long enough to pinch a sexy girl's bottom and pick up another bottle of beer, Hancock springs into action, destoying the bench in the process.
Turns out flying drunk is not as easy as it sounds. Crashing into birds, traffic signs, accidently taking out most of the police cars and almost hitting a plane, Hancock then stops the criminals in the rather unorthadox method of picking up the car and dropping it onto a rather large building.
The news report, far from praising Hancock, reports yet another huge mess he's caused, this time costing the city around 6 million in damages, a new personal best for Hancock.
80 years of solitude has turned Hancock into an unpopular miserable drunk. Will Smith pulls it off perfectly and you can not help but laugh.
"I can smell the liquor on his breath"
-"Thats cos I've been drinking bitch."
"She should sue you", says an over weight man
-"You should sue McDonalds, cos they've messed you up good."
For those who haven't seen it, pop down to your local cinema, then come down and finish reading this.
Unfortunately, there is a downside to the film. The main female of the plot, married lady Mary (Charlize Theron). Her story simply doesn't make any sense and it jumps around all over the place. To begin with, she is a concerned housewife. Her husband has taken a liking to Hancock and took it upon himself to improve Hancock's image and life. She seems, naturally, concerned about having a guy known for mass destruction around the house.
Things then start to develop. Turns out Hancock has a thing for her. With her husband out of sight he gives her "the look", she kinda returns it, he goes in for the kiss. She throws him through the wall.
OK, so turns out she's not quite a normal house wife. She refuses to tell him, or the audience, who she is simply telling him to stay away. Obviously, after 80 years of solitude, he refuses to do so. In exchange for keeping her secret from her husband, she agrees to meet up for a chat. She seems to hate him with a passion at this point.
She lets him know they are the last two of there kind, imortals created by "the Gods". The others have all died. She tries to pass herself off as his sister, but based on the physical attraction between them and possibly the fact that he's black and she's white, Hancock doesn't buy it. His refusal to believe this causes her to get even more pissed. They end up having a huge superhero type fight, which for some reason causes hurricanes. They also decide to do this in front of Hubby, so much for the secret.
She confesses to her husband that technically she's married to Hancock, but they broke up decades ago, Hancock just doesn't remember. She tried so many times over the centuries to get rid of him, but they just end up drawn to each other. But she doesn't want Hancock, she wants him.
At this point, the logical guesses might be Hancock and Mary used to date, but Hancock clearly did something to piss her off. Perhaps he was suppose to take her out those 80 years ago but never showed due to whatever happened to him? Or perhaps his drinking problems started before he could remember? Or... what? For some reason she was pissed.
Hancock does what he always does at times like this, he goes off to buy booze. There are guys with guns holding the shop keeper hostage. Americans call this late night shopping. He stops them, while causing destruction to half the shop, only to find the gunshot to his stomach has resulted in a bullet hole. Huh.
He's rushed to hospital, where Mary shows up as another new character. Turns out now she's truely madly deeply in love with Hancock. All sweet with puppy dog eyes. She lets him know that the reason he can be shot is that when they're together they turn each other mortal. She left him for his own good, because so many times when they were together he risked his life to save her. That time 80 years ago had been one such time, when they were attacked by a gang. When she discovered he had forgotten everything she had decided it best to disappear so he would never be harmed again. Fair enough. But what was with all that seriously pissed, fighting in town centre causing hurricanes nonsense? What was wrong with giving him a little heads up that he might not be so bullet proof any more?
Anyway, despite this, Hancock is a great film and a breath of fresh air in the comic book world (although having never actually been a comic book). Definately worth a watch.
This latest John Hancock will prove to be far more rememberable. An amazing film, although judging by various internet comments floating around it tends to have a Marmitian feel to it, in that you either love it or you hate it. Story time.
80 years ago, a man woke in hospital with no memory of who or what he was. The big hole in his head healed up pretty darn quick and any attempt to give him needles simply saw them brake on his skin. Had the accident somehow made him superhuman? Or if he had always been superhuman, how did he get the big hole in his head to begin with? No one knew. Despite the story being all over the news, no one ever came to tell him who he was. No one ever showed up. He was alone.
On leaving the hospital he was asked to put his "John Hancock" on a document. He took this as his name.
Skip ahead 80 years. Police cars racing after a get-away car. Bullets flying everywhere. The Americans call it a Monday.
"Hancock?"
"uurr.."
"Hancock?!"
John Hancock (Will Smith), lay face down on a public bench, surrounded by empty beer bottles. A little child attempting to wake him.
"What's up kid?"
"Badguys," said the child, impatiently, pointing to the news report. Stopping just long enough to pinch a sexy girl's bottom and pick up another bottle of beer, Hancock springs into action, destoying the bench in the process.
Turns out flying drunk is not as easy as it sounds. Crashing into birds, traffic signs, accidently taking out most of the police cars and almost hitting a plane, Hancock then stops the criminals in the rather unorthadox method of picking up the car and dropping it onto a rather large building.
The news report, far from praising Hancock, reports yet another huge mess he's caused, this time costing the city around 6 million in damages, a new personal best for Hancock.
80 years of solitude has turned Hancock into an unpopular miserable drunk. Will Smith pulls it off perfectly and you can not help but laugh.
"I can smell the liquor on his breath"
-"Thats cos I've been drinking bitch."
"She should sue you", says an over weight man
-"You should sue McDonalds, cos they've messed you up good."
For those who haven't seen it, pop down to your local cinema, then come down and finish reading this.
Unfortunately, there is a downside to the film. The main female of the plot, married lady Mary (Charlize Theron). Her story simply doesn't make any sense and it jumps around all over the place. To begin with, she is a concerned housewife. Her husband has taken a liking to Hancock and took it upon himself to improve Hancock's image and life. She seems, naturally, concerned about having a guy known for mass destruction around the house.
Things then start to develop. Turns out Hancock has a thing for her. With her husband out of sight he gives her "the look", she kinda returns it, he goes in for the kiss. She throws him through the wall.
OK, so turns out she's not quite a normal house wife. She refuses to tell him, or the audience, who she is simply telling him to stay away. Obviously, after 80 years of solitude, he refuses to do so. In exchange for keeping her secret from her husband, she agrees to meet up for a chat. She seems to hate him with a passion at this point.
She lets him know they are the last two of there kind, imortals created by "the Gods". The others have all died. She tries to pass herself off as his sister, but based on the physical attraction between them and possibly the fact that he's black and she's white, Hancock doesn't buy it. His refusal to believe this causes her to get even more pissed. They end up having a huge superhero type fight, which for some reason causes hurricanes. They also decide to do this in front of Hubby, so much for the secret.
She confesses to her husband that technically she's married to Hancock, but they broke up decades ago, Hancock just doesn't remember. She tried so many times over the centuries to get rid of him, but they just end up drawn to each other. But she doesn't want Hancock, she wants him.
At this point, the logical guesses might be Hancock and Mary used to date, but Hancock clearly did something to piss her off. Perhaps he was suppose to take her out those 80 years ago but never showed due to whatever happened to him? Or perhaps his drinking problems started before he could remember? Or... what? For some reason she was pissed.
Hancock does what he always does at times like this, he goes off to buy booze. There are guys with guns holding the shop keeper hostage. Americans call this late night shopping. He stops them, while causing destruction to half the shop, only to find the gunshot to his stomach has resulted in a bullet hole. Huh.
He's rushed to hospital, where Mary shows up as another new character. Turns out now she's truely madly deeply in love with Hancock. All sweet with puppy dog eyes. She lets him know that the reason he can be shot is that when they're together they turn each other mortal. She left him for his own good, because so many times when they were together he risked his life to save her. That time 80 years ago had been one such time, when they were attacked by a gang. When she discovered he had forgotten everything she had decided it best to disappear so he would never be harmed again. Fair enough. But what was with all that seriously pissed, fighting in town centre causing hurricanes nonsense? What was wrong with giving him a little heads up that he might not be so bullet proof any more?
Anyway, despite this, Hancock is a great film and a breath of fresh air in the comic book world (although having never actually been a comic book). Definately worth a watch.
Monday, June 30, 2008
The Incredible Hulk.
The Incredible Hulk story has done the rounds, and this latest instalment had all the basic plot elements. Experiment goes wrong. Man becomes monster. Goes on the run. Big bad ass Team America hunts him down with the typical shoot first and ask questions later approach. Hulk Smash.
However, this latest adaptation also had some extra little gems to help it shine. For the fan-boys, references to Captain America, S.H.I.E.L.D and Iron Man will have them giddy, whilst cameos from Stan Lee and the original Hulk will keep them smiling and a failed translation attempt by Banner causing him to say "Don't make me hungry, you wouldn't like me when I'm hungry" will get the chuckles.
For the slightly less hardcore, simpler pleasures can be obtained from the mix of emotion and action, along with explainations of why the Hulk's pants don't burst and one of the finest sex scenes in comic book movie history.
Best Hulk film to date, but hopefully not as good as the next one.
However, this latest adaptation also had some extra little gems to help it shine. For the fan-boys, references to Captain America, S.H.I.E.L.D and Iron Man will have them giddy, whilst cameos from Stan Lee and the original Hulk will keep them smiling and a failed translation attempt by Banner causing him to say "Don't make me hungry, you wouldn't like me when I'm hungry" will get the chuckles.
For the slightly less hardcore, simpler pleasures can be obtained from the mix of emotion and action, along with explainations of why the Hulk's pants don't burst and one of the finest sex scenes in comic book movie history.
Best Hulk film to date, but hopefully not as good as the next one.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Ratatouille
Another Orange Wednesday, another 2 for 1 film for Dave and Jean. This time it was Pixar's new movie Ratatouille.
Before the movie, Pixar gave an incredibly funny Pixar short about an Alien learning to drive a spaceship. Although probably less than 5 minutes in length, this short alone was worth the entrance fee. A description is omitted here since it would fail to do it justice and simply spoil it for any who haven't seen.
The movie itself was about a genius/crazy rat named Remy. Genius in that Remy used his hightened sense of smell to become the worlds greatest chef. Crazy in that he was willing to risk his life and the lives of family and friends for food, ingredients and a cook book. Another perculiar character trait of his was his views on stealing, which he refused to do when he was near dying of starvation but was willing to do later to save face in front of his brother. In summary, Remy was odd.
Ratatouille explores very deep issues in a very soft light hearted way. Remy himself is caught between two worlds, neither of which he feels he belongs to. For his family he "pretends" to be a rat, for his love of cooking he pretends to be "human" (via using a simple minded human as a giant puppet, which may seem a bit odd but still makes more sense than him dressing up in clothes and walking on stilts). In addition, he had to deal with the obvious racisim against him and had to work 10 times harder just to be considered equal.
Jean felt Remy was someone she could relate to. Being Chinese in England can very much feel like being a rat in a kitchen at times. Jean often found it hard to adjust to life in the UK. From the occasional snigger from a kid saying, "Ni hao," as he walked past to out-right racist remarks there was always a reminder coming just around the corner that this wasn't home. Even well meaning individuals didn't help with comments such as "I find it really funny when they shout in Chinese." At the same time, Jean had left China for a reason and had grew further away from it with the passing of time. If she couldn't stay and she couldn't leave, what should she do?
Ratatouille looks at all of this, but makes it suitable for children. It keeps the humour coming throughout and some viewers may not even notice the more serious notes. Emile, Remy's brother, is never far from the screen to ensure things don't get to heavy, despite being incredibly overweight himself. Emile is a fun loving rat, never lets things stress him. Eats anything, overweight, absolutely NO taste at all with zero potential of ever being anything remotely like a chef. Here was a character Dave could relate to.
The overall story line was fairly predictable. Useless guy meets crazy mouse, form a cooking team. Guy becomes great head chef, finds female chef, live happily ever after. The "villians" of the story being the former head chef who isn't keen to lose his job and a very strict food critic who works in a coffin shaped office on a skull looking type writer. The comment is made that he is incredibly thin for a man who likes food to which he replies,
"I don't LIKE food, I LOVE it! And I ONLY SWALLOW what I LOVE!"
This reminded Dave of a similar comment Aline had once made during a game of "Truth or Dare", but that was about a rather different topic.
When the movie was over, Dave checked his phone. 1 missed call. Why? Why did he only ever seem to recieve calls when he was in the cinema? How did people know? Was there a website somewhere advertising what times Dave would be unable to answer?
Overall a good film.
Before the movie, Pixar gave an incredibly funny Pixar short about an Alien learning to drive a spaceship. Although probably less than 5 minutes in length, this short alone was worth the entrance fee. A description is omitted here since it would fail to do it justice and simply spoil it for any who haven't seen.
The movie itself was about a genius/crazy rat named Remy. Genius in that Remy used his hightened sense of smell to become the worlds greatest chef. Crazy in that he was willing to risk his life and the lives of family and friends for food, ingredients and a cook book. Another perculiar character trait of his was his views on stealing, which he refused to do when he was near dying of starvation but was willing to do later to save face in front of his brother. In summary, Remy was odd.
Ratatouille explores very deep issues in a very soft light hearted way. Remy himself is caught between two worlds, neither of which he feels he belongs to. For his family he "pretends" to be a rat, for his love of cooking he pretends to be "human" (via using a simple minded human as a giant puppet, which may seem a bit odd but still makes more sense than him dressing up in clothes and walking on stilts). In addition, he had to deal with the obvious racisim against him and had to work 10 times harder just to be considered equal.
Jean felt Remy was someone she could relate to. Being Chinese in England can very much feel like being a rat in a kitchen at times. Jean often found it hard to adjust to life in the UK. From the occasional snigger from a kid saying, "Ni hao," as he walked past to out-right racist remarks there was always a reminder coming just around the corner that this wasn't home. Even well meaning individuals didn't help with comments such as "I find it really funny when they shout in Chinese." At the same time, Jean had left China for a reason and had grew further away from it with the passing of time. If she couldn't stay and she couldn't leave, what should she do?
Ratatouille looks at all of this, but makes it suitable for children. It keeps the humour coming throughout and some viewers may not even notice the more serious notes. Emile, Remy's brother, is never far from the screen to ensure things don't get to heavy, despite being incredibly overweight himself. Emile is a fun loving rat, never lets things stress him. Eats anything, overweight, absolutely NO taste at all with zero potential of ever being anything remotely like a chef. Here was a character Dave could relate to.
The overall story line was fairly predictable. Useless guy meets crazy mouse, form a cooking team. Guy becomes great head chef, finds female chef, live happily ever after. The "villians" of the story being the former head chef who isn't keen to lose his job and a very strict food critic who works in a coffin shaped office on a skull looking type writer. The comment is made that he is incredibly thin for a man who likes food to which he replies,
"I don't LIKE food, I LOVE it! And I ONLY SWALLOW what I LOVE!"
This reminded Dave of a similar comment Aline had once made during a game of "Truth or Dare", but that was about a rather different topic.
When the movie was over, Dave checked his phone. 1 missed call. Why? Why did he only ever seem to recieve calls when he was in the cinema? How did people know? Was there a website somewhere advertising what times Dave would be unable to answer?
Overall a good film.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Superman Returns
Finally.
Having missed it at the cinema and on several occasions since, Dave would finally get the chance to see the long awaited Superman Returns, thanks to the great site TV-Links.
The last line Superman says to Lex in Superman IV is "See you in twenty". Coincidently, that movie was released in 1986 and the new movie was released 20 years later, 2006. Dave had started to wonder if he would see it before 2026.
So what was it about?
The father sends the son to Earth. The exact relationship between father and son described as "The father becomes the son and the son becomes the father." The son, although clearly the saviour of the human race, is met with resentment. "The world doesn't need a saviour". He is beaten and humiliated and, despite knowing he is going to die, he still chooses to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, to remove the burden which will destroy mankind whilst sacrificing himself. The life fades from his body, whilst his arms are stretched out to either side in the shape of a cross. A deadly spear in his side ultimately striking the final blow.
But low and behold! The saviour is not dead! The bed in which he lay is now empty! Superman Returns. Oh, and just to put the icing on the cake, the father son thing is repeated with Superman's kid, which kinda makes it a Trinity.
Well, if your gonna rip off a story it might as well be from the best selling book of all time right?
The movie had at least two fairly major plot holes. The first, how could Superman possibly lift an Island/Continent into space when it was laced with Kryptonite and he still had a chunk of Kryptonite in his side? Sure, the Kryptonite in the Island was probably "diluted" and he dug down far beneath the Island to give him some protection and he got a lovely fix from the Sun just before doing it, but he still had a chunk of pretty damn pure looking Kryptonite in his side which wasn't removed till he got to the hospital. He should have been barely able to walk. How is Lex suppose to do anything if Superman doesn't play by the rules?
The second regards his son. Since Clark was surprised to see Lois was with someone, presumably she didn't start going out with Richard till after he left. Since he also has all the knowledge of the advanced Kryptonian people, one would think he could count. Although the audience didn't know anything about the physical side of Clark and Lois' relationship, presumably he did. He slept with her about 5 years ago. She has a child about 4.5 years old. Hmm.
Presumably, since there wasn't any overlap between her relationships with Richard and Superman, she and Richard should have been pretty certain Richard wasn't the real dad too. Ignoring all the "Who's the daddy" nonsense, Superman is an asshole.
Without knowing they slept together, his disappearence without saying goodbye is bad, but acceptable. He always kept her at a bit of a distance. He had to be "Super"man, someone above all the relationship stuff. But would a quick, "My homeworld may have been found. I need to go check." have really been so hard? Considering they slept together, that takes it to a whole new level. He's now one of those guys who just pop out to get the milk and are never seen again. Not knowing she was pregnant is no excuse and in fact adds to the crime, since it makes it more and more likely he slept with her and just wasn't around the next day. Lois forgives him way too quick. Come on girl, so he can fly, get over it.
Not many people could pull off being the saviour and a dick in one film.
I guess that's what makes him Super.
Having missed it at the cinema and on several occasions since, Dave would finally get the chance to see the long awaited Superman Returns, thanks to the great site TV-Links.
The last line Superman says to Lex in Superman IV is "See you in twenty". Coincidently, that movie was released in 1986 and the new movie was released 20 years later, 2006. Dave had started to wonder if he would see it before 2026.
So what was it about?
The father sends the son to Earth. The exact relationship between father and son described as "The father becomes the son and the son becomes the father." The son, although clearly the saviour of the human race, is met with resentment. "The world doesn't need a saviour". He is beaten and humiliated and, despite knowing he is going to die, he still chooses to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, to remove the burden which will destroy mankind whilst sacrificing himself. The life fades from his body, whilst his arms are stretched out to either side in the shape of a cross. A deadly spear in his side ultimately striking the final blow.
But low and behold! The saviour is not dead! The bed in which he lay is now empty! Superman Returns. Oh, and just to put the icing on the cake, the father son thing is repeated with Superman's kid, which kinda makes it a Trinity.
Well, if your gonna rip off a story it might as well be from the best selling book of all time right?
The movie had at least two fairly major plot holes. The first, how could Superman possibly lift an Island/Continent into space when it was laced with Kryptonite and he still had a chunk of Kryptonite in his side? Sure, the Kryptonite in the Island was probably "diluted" and he dug down far beneath the Island to give him some protection and he got a lovely fix from the Sun just before doing it, but he still had a chunk of pretty damn pure looking Kryptonite in his side which wasn't removed till he got to the hospital. He should have been barely able to walk. How is Lex suppose to do anything if Superman doesn't play by the rules?
The second regards his son. Since Clark was surprised to see Lois was with someone, presumably she didn't start going out with Richard till after he left. Since he also has all the knowledge of the advanced Kryptonian people, one would think he could count. Although the audience didn't know anything about the physical side of Clark and Lois' relationship, presumably he did. He slept with her about 5 years ago. She has a child about 4.5 years old. Hmm.
Presumably, since there wasn't any overlap between her relationships with Richard and Superman, she and Richard should have been pretty certain Richard wasn't the real dad too. Ignoring all the "Who's the daddy" nonsense, Superman is an asshole.
Without knowing they slept together, his disappearence without saying goodbye is bad, but acceptable. He always kept her at a bit of a distance. He had to be "Super"man, someone above all the relationship stuff. But would a quick, "My homeworld may have been found. I need to go check." have really been so hard? Considering they slept together, that takes it to a whole new level. He's now one of those guys who just pop out to get the milk and are never seen again. Not knowing she was pregnant is no excuse and in fact adds to the crime, since it makes it more and more likely he slept with her and just wasn't around the next day. Lois forgives him way too quick. Come on girl, so he can fly, get over it.
Not many people could pull off being the saviour and a dick in one film.
I guess that's what makes him Super.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Finding Neverland
"Do you know who that is?" asked Dave.
"No," said Bian.
"No," repeated Jean, "Who?"
Dave paused before answering. He paused for two reasons. Firstly, he enjoyed the fact that they didn't know. He wanted to give them a few more moments to try and figure it out, certain they wouldn't. It was part of the game.
Secondly, and more importantly, he wanted to give himself a few more moments to make 100% sure he wasn't about to make a fool out of himself and give the wrong answer.
"It's Captain Jack Sparrow."
Johnny Depp. One of the greatest cameleons the world had ever seen. He seemed different, physically different, in every film. Only his eyes gave him away. Boy, did that guy have eyes.
On this occassion he played Sir James Matthew Barrie, the author of Peter Pan, in the story of the events which inspired the adventures in Neverland.
The film is beautifully done. The acting is superb, the balance between humour and emotion is just right and the special effects don't try to dominate the story (a trait which becomes increasingly less common). More than this, the story line itself, although based on actual events, tries to capture the essence that made Peter Pan originally great, the inocence of a child who never grows up. One could just as easily, using the same real life events, have told a tale of adultry and hatred, but it would have been wrong to do so.
James, a play writer, stumbles across a family of four boys quite by chance while they're out playing. He quickly befriends them and their widowed mother and together they have many days of games and laughter. He helps the boys, especially Peter, come to terms with the loss of their father, whilst inspiring himself in to write his best ever work. Peter in turn finds the desire to put pen to paper and begins his own story. The movie captures perfectly the pride of a parent for her child and the joy of a child in seeing that pride.
Neverland was a place filled with faeries and magic, a place of imagination and inspiration, a place where dreams really do come true.
Finding Neverland, as the title suggests, is a film that points you in the direction of how to get there.
"No," said Bian.
"No," repeated Jean, "Who?"
Dave paused before answering. He paused for two reasons. Firstly, he enjoyed the fact that they didn't know. He wanted to give them a few more moments to try and figure it out, certain they wouldn't. It was part of the game.
Secondly, and more importantly, he wanted to give himself a few more moments to make 100% sure he wasn't about to make a fool out of himself and give the wrong answer.
"It's Captain Jack Sparrow."
Johnny Depp. One of the greatest cameleons the world had ever seen. He seemed different, physically different, in every film. Only his eyes gave him away. Boy, did that guy have eyes.
On this occassion he played Sir James Matthew Barrie, the author of Peter Pan, in the story of the events which inspired the adventures in Neverland.
The film is beautifully done. The acting is superb, the balance between humour and emotion is just right and the special effects don't try to dominate the story (a trait which becomes increasingly less common). More than this, the story line itself, although based on actual events, tries to capture the essence that made Peter Pan originally great, the inocence of a child who never grows up. One could just as easily, using the same real life events, have told a tale of adultry and hatred, but it would have been wrong to do so.
James, a play writer, stumbles across a family of four boys quite by chance while they're out playing. He quickly befriends them and their widowed mother and together they have many days of games and laughter. He helps the boys, especially Peter, come to terms with the loss of their father, whilst inspiring himself in to write his best ever work. Peter in turn finds the desire to put pen to paper and begins his own story. The movie captures perfectly the pride of a parent for her child and the joy of a child in seeing that pride.
Neverland was a place filled with faeries and magic, a place of imagination and inspiration, a place where dreams really do come true.
Finding Neverland, as the title suggests, is a film that points you in the direction of how to get there.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Transformers
Transformers, the live action movie. The very idea had gave Dave a roller coaster of emotions. On the one hand, this was the movie he had wanted to see since before he could walk, on the other hand, this was the movie he had wanted to see since before he could walk. It was a movie that could go very very well or a movie that could go very very bad.
It ended up somewhere in between. It was surprisingly good, but it could have been better.
The movie is about the Transformers quest to find the Allspark, a power source which can give life to random machines (Vector Sigma in a handy cube form, for fans of the original). The Autobots want to use it to restore their dying home world, Cybertron, the Decepticons want to form an army to conquer the Universe. A fairly typical Transformers type plot.
The film starts with a sceen showing some army guys talking and straight away the crucial error is made. The focus of the movie lies far too much with people. Regular guys.
Almost imediately this sceen is followed by a Decepticon attack, which is incredibly cool to watch, but no detail is ever followed up as to the Decepticons background.
Apart from Bumblebee, who despite not saying anything still manages to be cool, the other Autobots do not arrive until an hour into the film. They are then given a few sceens, but nothing major. Only Optimus Prime and, to a lesser degree, Ironhide come across as having any character at all. The Decepticons are not so lucky. Megatron and Starscream don't appear until almost two hours into the film. The whole Megatron - Starscream love hate relationship, a very key feature of the original cartoons, is given only one line, when Megatron announces Starscream has failed him "Once again." Presumably, when doing a live action, it's just alot easier to focus on real people than imaginary robots.
On the positive side, the transformers are incredibly cool to watch and certain moments will make real fans incredibly happy, no matter how much they want to hate it. For example, anyone with any claim to being a fan could not help themselves at bubbling up with glee when Optimus Prime announces,
"One shall stand, one shall fall."
It ended up somewhere in between. It was surprisingly good, but it could have been better.
The movie is about the Transformers quest to find the Allspark, a power source which can give life to random machines (Vector Sigma in a handy cube form, for fans of the original). The Autobots want to use it to restore their dying home world, Cybertron, the Decepticons want to form an army to conquer the Universe. A fairly typical Transformers type plot.
The film starts with a sceen showing some army guys talking and straight away the crucial error is made. The focus of the movie lies far too much with people. Regular guys.
Almost imediately this sceen is followed by a Decepticon attack, which is incredibly cool to watch, but no detail is ever followed up as to the Decepticons background.
Apart from Bumblebee, who despite not saying anything still manages to be cool, the other Autobots do not arrive until an hour into the film. They are then given a few sceens, but nothing major. Only Optimus Prime and, to a lesser degree, Ironhide come across as having any character at all. The Decepticons are not so lucky. Megatron and Starscream don't appear until almost two hours into the film. The whole Megatron - Starscream love hate relationship, a very key feature of the original cartoons, is given only one line, when Megatron announces Starscream has failed him "Once again." Presumably, when doing a live action, it's just alot easier to focus on real people than imaginary robots.
On the positive side, the transformers are incredibly cool to watch and certain moments will make real fans incredibly happy, no matter how much they want to hate it. For example, anyone with any claim to being a fan could not help themselves at bubbling up with glee when Optimus Prime announces,
"One shall stand, one shall fall."
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