Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1.
From the outset it should be mentioned that this review is possibly unfair to Mr Potter. Having not seen all of the previous films, and not really paying much attention to the few that were seen, there may be unnessary continuity issues which the average viewer may not suffer from. As such, here is a quick summary of what was known before seeing this film:
Harry lived under some stairs until a big bearded bloke picked him up to tell him he's a wizard and take him to wizard school. He soon discovers he's the chosen one who kinda killed the Big Bad wizard when he was a baby (that makes no sense btw). He and the Big Bad are eternally connected due to this and he has a scar on his head to prove it (huh?). The first movie was all about a big bunch of kids trying to score points to see which group won at the end of the year. Harry's team lost... but then won because someone pointed out he's the star. Awful ending.
...Harry kissed a Chinese looking girl...
...there was some kind of race through a maze which resulted in some young wizard dying and the Big Bad being resurected...
...an old guy died...
And here we are, the Deathly Hallows.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......
Seriously, this was so dull.
Harry and co teleport to new place. They get found. They wave wands at each other.
Harry and co teleport to new place. They get found. They wave wands at each other...
... for nearly 3 hours!
Pretty much nothing happens and anything that does happen either makes no sense or doesn't bloody get shown.
For example, Harry's BFF randomly gets upset, storms out, randomly comes back a few minutes later. Why? What was the point?
The Minister of Magic comes to see Harry. Next sceen we learn he's dead and the Ministry has fallen to the bad guys... what the hell happened? And why the hell did they leave us watching a stupid wedding while an epic war of good vs evil was taking place down the road?
How the hell do they just randomly keep being in the right place? We need to find these "Horcruxes"... oh look, there's one in the first house we go to. We need the Master Sword to destroy it... oh look, it's in this lake right next to us... Harry is drowning... oh look, BFF is back... ARGH!!!!!
How can you possibly build any kind of suspense when everything is just ridiculously easy? I mean, sure, in alot of films you kinda know certain people are not going to die at certain times, but this goes far beyond this. Not only do you know they're not going to die, you know EXACTLY how they'll get away. *Spolier*: They wave wands at each other, then teleport.
In summary then, if you like wand waving and the occasional teleporting you do not wanna miss this. Afterall, its currently one of the IMDB best movies of the decade...
... of cause, the "decade" started with 2010...
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Inception
From the writer and director of "Memento", "The Dark Knight" and "Batman Begins" comes another entry into the IMDB top 250 films of all time, coming straight in at number 4. Amongst the likes of "The Shawshank Redemption", "The Godfather" and "Schindler's List", it is currently the only film of the last 16 years to be in the top ten, having just kicked "The Dark Knight" down to the 11 spot.
So what is all the fuss about?
The basic plot is simple enough. The main character, Cobb, and his band of merry men use advanced date rape techniques to sneak into people's dreams and steal their inner most secrets, which they then sell off on the black market. Their latest mission, however, has a slight twist, in that instead of stealing an idea from the target, they are asked to implant a new one.
The development of the plot, however, is far from simple and instead sits in the realms of "genius". Why? Because every question it answers along the way invites a whole host of new ones, making it thought-provoking to the point that some viewers have went away doubting their own existance.
Yet it doesn't leave the same bitter aftertaste experienced by a lot of fans from the ending of "Lost".
I'll leave off any spoilers as this is one that you will no doubt have to see for yourself.
Sweet Dreams.
So what is all the fuss about?
The basic plot is simple enough. The main character, Cobb, and his band of merry men use advanced date rape techniques to sneak into people's dreams and steal their inner most secrets, which they then sell off on the black market. Their latest mission, however, has a slight twist, in that instead of stealing an idea from the target, they are asked to implant a new one.
The development of the plot, however, is far from simple and instead sits in the realms of "genius". Why? Because every question it answers along the way invites a whole host of new ones, making it thought-provoking to the point that some viewers have went away doubting their own existance.
Yet it doesn't leave the same bitter aftertaste experienced by a lot of fans from the ending of "Lost".
I'll leave off any spoilers as this is one that you will no doubt have to see for yourself.
Sweet Dreams.
Monday, October 19, 2009
He’s Just Not That Into You.
Gigi is into Conor, who likes Anna, who likes Ben, who is married to Janine, who happens to be Gigi’s friend. They’re also friends with Beth who wants to marry her long-term partner, Ben’s friend Neil, but he doesn’t believe in marriage. Anna is a friend of Mary who works with, but has never actually seen, Conor.
Relationships can be confusing.
Enter Alex, Conor’s friend, to straighten things out and lay down the law.
“He’s just not that into you.”
… or at least he helps straighten things out until he starts making things more complicated…
Without spoiling the ending, that’s pretty much the whole plot. The film is much more about character development than plot development and as such it does a decent job.
It also plays out as a course in Love 101 and puts forward some interesting theories as to why the fairer sex goes after the bad boy type. Having never been a woman (wearing the underwear doesn’t count), it was difficult for Dave to fully judge the accuracy of such theories. Guys are generally far simpler.
Guy + bad girl = more sex.
Still, everything generally makes sense and it nice every once in a while to watch a movie without massive plot holes in every other scene.
If it sounds like your cup of tea then it almost certainly is.
Relationships can be confusing.
Enter Alex, Conor’s friend, to straighten things out and lay down the law.
“He’s just not that into you.”
… or at least he helps straighten things out until he starts making things more complicated…
Without spoiling the ending, that’s pretty much the whole plot. The film is much more about character development than plot development and as such it does a decent job.
It also plays out as a course in Love 101 and puts forward some interesting theories as to why the fairer sex goes after the bad boy type. Having never been a woman (wearing the underwear doesn’t count), it was difficult for Dave to fully judge the accuracy of such theories. Guys are generally far simpler.
Guy + bad girl = more sex.
Still, everything generally makes sense and it nice every once in a while to watch a movie without massive plot holes in every other scene.
If it sounds like your cup of tea then it almost certainly is.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Memento
Which is why this blog makes almost as little sense as one of Khany’s. This confusement has been recreated here for all you lucky readers.
He knows vaguely where he is going, but has no idea where he has been. The other reason its special is because it shows the whole film backwards to try to give you more of the confused feeling of Leonard.
Hell, why should you be allowed to, when the character living it has no idea? The point is you, as the viewer, are not suppose to know the “truth.”
After all, the movie is fake, regardless of which story you believe to be “true.” Although much debate rages on about what can be taken as fact and what can’t, the only fact available is that there are no facts. The movie is special not for the story it tells, but for the story it doesn’t.
*End Spoilers*
He is also told that his wife may not have died in the attacker. He is told that he actually killed the right man long ago, but he forgot. During the film Leonard kills two people, neither of them is the right man.
*SPOILERS*
As well as being difficult, it also proves to be fairly hazardous to those around him.
This is not an easy task for a man with no new memories.
With the attack being the last thing he remembers, his life becomes a mission to find and kill the attacker responsible. The film tells the tale of Leonard, a man who lost his ability to form short-term memories whilst confronting intruders who were raping his wife.
After just a 9 year delay he finally got round to it. Memento is rated as one of the best films of the new millennium and as such it was on Dave’s to watch list.
Where to start?
He knows vaguely where he is going, but has no idea where he has been. The other reason its special is because it shows the whole film backwards to try to give you more of the confused feeling of Leonard.
Hell, why should you be allowed to, when the character living it has no idea? The point is you, as the viewer, are not suppose to know the “truth.”
After all, the movie is fake, regardless of which story you believe to be “true.” Although much debate rages on about what can be taken as fact and what can’t, the only fact available is that there are no facts. The movie is special not for the story it tells, but for the story it doesn’t.
*End Spoilers*
He is also told that his wife may not have died in the attacker. He is told that he actually killed the right man long ago, but he forgot. During the film Leonard kills two people, neither of them is the right man.
*SPOILERS*
As well as being difficult, it also proves to be fairly hazardous to those around him.
This is not an easy task for a man with no new memories.
With the attack being the last thing he remembers, his life becomes a mission to find and kill the attacker responsible. The film tells the tale of Leonard, a man who lost his ability to form short-term memories whilst confronting intruders who were raping his wife.
After just a 9 year delay he finally got round to it. Memento is rated as one of the best films of the new millennium and as such it was on Dave’s to watch list.
Where to start?
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Surrogates
In the not too distant future the internet sensation 2nd Life has had a major upgrade. People are now able to sit at home hooked up to the computer which mentally controls a robot in the real world. They can feel all the usually sensations through this robot, though with considerably less pain. These robots are called our Surrogates.
The obvious question is why?
Well, your Surrogate is stronger, faster and sexier than you and if it gets hit by a car you can just get it fixed or replaced. As such, the use of Surrogates has reduced crime, with murder being unheard of and race crimes being even sillier than they already are. Such is their appeal that the vast majority of the human race (...which being an American film is just another word for "Americans" as it mentions very little about whats happening elsewhere...) now use them. The only people not using them are a small group who refuse to do so on moral grounds who have now been more or less banished from decent society.
Its an interesting scenario and an OK film which follows a fairly predicatable storyline to an obvious ending, but it passes the time if you have time to waste. And you get to see Bruce Willis do the Terminator thing.
Its only major flaw is that the world it creates is nothing like the world that would actually occur if we did get Surrogates.
Crime down? ... erm... no... two major factors that reduce crime are guilt and fear. Guilt of hurting others, fear of hurting yourself. Take those away and crime is going to soar.
I also love how little people seem to care about the less important crimes of Surrogates getting damaged. Have you seen how much people can care about a tiny scratch on a car? And how come everyone can even afford Surrogates? A state of the art robot more advanced than an actual human, you would think that would cost a pretty penny.
A world full of Surrogates would be far far more chaotic than it makes out. Even ignoring crime, Surrogates are more or less superhuman. How many people who woke up with superpowers would decide not to use them and continue normal day to day activities?
Why do people still use cars? Surely you can stick some wheels on your feet and off you go.
Why do people all still look like people? You can look however you want, where are all the original creations? Not even a few blue people or werewolves, or didn't anyone think an extra pair of hands might be useful?
It never explores the idea as much as it could have, instead sticking with the standard science vs nature and questions of how far is too far. Yet it still could have been a great film if they had just had Brucy take on Arnie.
That would have rocked.
The obvious question is why?
Well, your Surrogate is stronger, faster and sexier than you and if it gets hit by a car you can just get it fixed or replaced. As such, the use of Surrogates has reduced crime, with murder being unheard of and race crimes being even sillier than they already are. Such is their appeal that the vast majority of the human race (...which being an American film is just another word for "Americans" as it mentions very little about whats happening elsewhere...) now use them. The only people not using them are a small group who refuse to do so on moral grounds who have now been more or less banished from decent society.
Its an interesting scenario and an OK film which follows a fairly predicatable storyline to an obvious ending, but it passes the time if you have time to waste. And you get to see Bruce Willis do the Terminator thing.
Its only major flaw is that the world it creates is nothing like the world that would actually occur if we did get Surrogates.
Crime down? ... erm... no... two major factors that reduce crime are guilt and fear. Guilt of hurting others, fear of hurting yourself. Take those away and crime is going to soar.
I also love how little people seem to care about the less important crimes of Surrogates getting damaged. Have you seen how much people can care about a tiny scratch on a car? And how come everyone can even afford Surrogates? A state of the art robot more advanced than an actual human, you would think that would cost a pretty penny.
A world full of Surrogates would be far far more chaotic than it makes out. Even ignoring crime, Surrogates are more or less superhuman. How many people who woke up with superpowers would decide not to use them and continue normal day to day activities?
Why do people still use cars? Surely you can stick some wheels on your feet and off you go.
Why do people all still look like people? You can look however you want, where are all the original creations? Not even a few blue people or werewolves, or didn't anyone think an extra pair of hands might be useful?
It never explores the idea as much as it could have, instead sticking with the standard science vs nature and questions of how far is too far. Yet it still could have been a great film if they had just had Brucy take on Arnie.
That would have rocked.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Knowing
50 years ago a crazy little girl who hears voices wrote down a long list of numbers and placed them in a time capsule.
Present day, and the capsule is dug up, the numbers are looked at and it turns out they've predicted the dates and numbers of people dead in every major disaster since the time of writing... including 3 events that haven't happened yet...
Early on in the film, Nicholas Cage sets the sceen for the main debate, destiny vs randomness. He actually discusses the topic in a lecture he's giving, which must be one of the shortest lectures ever. Seriously, are lectures in America really that short? They never seem longer than 5 minutes in any films...
The film never really delivers a suitable answer to anything. Clearly favouring the destiny arguement from the use of the predicitions, it still comes across very random. The entire film is a rather large question mark. Themes are jumbled up in an ad hoc fashion. Christian ideas are presented throughout, enough to annoy any hardcore Non-Christians as well as any Christians, since they mostly presented completely out of context. The ending in particular will probably make only a very narrow band of people happy.
The main concept is interesting, but not anything original.
Present day, and the capsule is dug up, the numbers are looked at and it turns out they've predicted the dates and numbers of people dead in every major disaster since the time of writing... including 3 events that haven't happened yet...
Early on in the film, Nicholas Cage sets the sceen for the main debate, destiny vs randomness. He actually discusses the topic in a lecture he's giving, which must be one of the shortest lectures ever. Seriously, are lectures in America really that short? They never seem longer than 5 minutes in any films...
The film never really delivers a suitable answer to anything. Clearly favouring the destiny arguement from the use of the predicitions, it still comes across very random. The entire film is a rather large question mark. Themes are jumbled up in an ad hoc fashion. Christian ideas are presented throughout, enough to annoy any hardcore Non-Christians as well as any Christians, since they mostly presented completely out of context. The ending in particular will probably make only a very narrow band of people happy.
The main concept is interesting, but not anything original.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Dragon Ball Evolution
Dave felt sick. Physically sick.
Having a spare moment after work, and with nothing interesting on TV, Dave decided to watch a movie online and headed over to TVLinks to see what was available.
Dragon Ball Evolution. A new live action film of the popular Dragon Ball cartoon series. Having seen the trailer he was far from hopeful, but with nothing else to watch he decided to have a gander. Afterall, if it was Dragon Ball how bad could it be.
After 12 min 26 sec he hit the pause button and headed over to his blog to hurl.
'Oh dear lord no.'
True, he hadn't yet gave it a fair try, it could get better, but my word it sucks. It had gone so very far wrong in such a short amount of time, it seemed beyond any chance of repair.
1. Goku is a whiny teenager instead of an ultra innocent child.
2. Goku is complaining about not being able to use his powers to beat up school bullies?!?!?!
Goku doesn't even go to school! And he's the good guy!
3. Goku says to his grandad "Teach me something I can use. Teach me how to pick up girls"!!!!
No. No. No. Goku doesn't even know what a girl IS in the cartoons, he's never seen a girl, but even ignoring how completely different it is from the cartoons, who would ever ask their grandad to teach them to get chicks?
At this point ur less than 5 min into the film. The list just never seems to end.
Goku is in love with Chi Chi, who he goes to school with, but she's always surrounded by the cool kids, who Goku wants to beat up, but knows he shouldn't, so walks away. He sees her alone struggling to open her locker, so he uses his magic powers to open it, she's suddenly interested and not even slightly shocked. He gets invited to a party at "her house" and instantly says he'll be there, despite not being told where her house is and seemingly talking for the first time. At the party the bullies attack him, but he decides to be "cool" and just moves out of the way of each hit making them all beat each other up.
NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.
Why must movies like this go deliberately out of their way to try and destroy a person's childhood memories?
So wrong.
Having a spare moment after work, and with nothing interesting on TV, Dave decided to watch a movie online and headed over to TVLinks to see what was available.
Dragon Ball Evolution. A new live action film of the popular Dragon Ball cartoon series. Having seen the trailer he was far from hopeful, but with nothing else to watch he decided to have a gander. Afterall, if it was Dragon Ball how bad could it be.
After 12 min 26 sec he hit the pause button and headed over to his blog to hurl.
'Oh dear lord no.'
True, he hadn't yet gave it a fair try, it could get better, but my word it sucks. It had gone so very far wrong in such a short amount of time, it seemed beyond any chance of repair.
1. Goku is a whiny teenager instead of an ultra innocent child.
2. Goku is complaining about not being able to use his powers to beat up school bullies?!?!?!
Goku doesn't even go to school! And he's the good guy!
3. Goku says to his grandad "Teach me something I can use. Teach me how to pick up girls"!!!!
No. No. No. Goku doesn't even know what a girl IS in the cartoons, he's never seen a girl, but even ignoring how completely different it is from the cartoons, who would ever ask their grandad to teach them to get chicks?
At this point ur less than 5 min into the film. The list just never seems to end.
Goku is in love with Chi Chi, who he goes to school with, but she's always surrounded by the cool kids, who Goku wants to beat up, but knows he shouldn't, so walks away. He sees her alone struggling to open her locker, so he uses his magic powers to open it, she's suddenly interested and not even slightly shocked. He gets invited to a party at "her house" and instantly says he'll be there, despite not being told where her house is and seemingly talking for the first time. At the party the bullies attack him, but he decides to be "cool" and just moves out of the way of each hit making them all beat each other up.
NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.
Why must movies like this go deliberately out of their way to try and destroy a person's childhood memories?
So wrong.
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