The story in a nutshell:
Alien (K. Reaves), pops over on his summer hols to make new friends. He lands his big sphere thing, steps out and goes to shake hands with a local girl and ask for directs to the nearest Maccies, it was a long trip and he's hungry. Enter US law enforcers.
"HE'S GOING TO SHAKE HANDS!!! SHOOT THE SH*T OUTA HIM!!!"
Bang. Ouch. Down Mr Alien goes.
"STOP FIRING! This amo is expensive.."
What to do after killing an Alien? Rush him to hospital to save his life.
"We did it. We saved him. We're heros."
Meanwhile Alien's big pet robot "Gurt" has been left behind by the sphere. A highly advanced piece of Alien technology, what to do with it...
"CALL IN THE PLANES!! BLOW THE SH*T OUTA IT!"
Bang. Ouch. Planes go down. This is Gurt, not some silly Mr Reaves. Don't mess with Gurt.
Alien wakes up, he knows our language... "... Mac Donalds... Burger...."
Typical take me to your leader comments from Alien, but the President has decided he doesn't want to talk. Instead he wants Alien locked up and tortured for info. Alien decides to leave and go to MacDonalds.
Seriously. That actually happens.
After seeing the price of a burger at Maccies, he decides humanity is fu*ked up and tells Gurt to wipe us all out. Enter Will Smith Jr.
"Reaves, ur a di*k. If my dad was here he would totally wipe you and your kind outa existence."
"I doubt that."
"No, he would, haven't you seen Independence Day."
"I have seen the error of my ways, humanity deserves a second chance, Gurt lets go home."
The End.
The moral of the story is that humanity is killing the Earth and that to save the plannet we need to give up are materilistic ways. Funily enough, it trys to give us this message while plugging adverts for just about everything, from Maccies to Microsoft to Honda and many many more. It somehow lessens the impact.
Even further reducing the impact of it's core message is the feable attempts to excuse us of our destructive ways. Enter big science guy:
"Every civilisation needs to go to the brink of destruction before it can evolve into decent beings."
"Your right, for us are Sun was about to explode."
Wait. Thats not the same thing, unless it was about to exlode because you were blowing the sh*t outa it. And he's clearly not right. Humanity is smart enough to know whats coming, they need to do something ASAP. Gurt! Where's Gurt? Gurt, step on this scientist.
Finally, a comment about the unnamed Mr President. He refuses to talk to Mr Alien, he refuses to even think about talking about talking, he likes to blow the SH*T outa stuff, even stuff thats clearly not blow-up-able. He hires T-Bag (racist murdering child molesting pyscho from Prison Break) as his chief army guy and the chick from Misery (pyschotic novelist fan) as his chief of defense. OK, it refuses to actually say his name, but I think we can all spot Bush from a mile away by now.
Imagine the film with Obama in charge:
Alien (K. Reaves), pops over on his summer hols to make new friends. He lands his big sphere thing, steps out and goes to shake hands with the president Obama, waiting to greet him.
"You must be hungry Mr Alien, I'll take you to Maccies, dinner's on me."
"Wow, what a nice Change to the normal response I get. Can we be friends?"
"Yes, We Can."
The End.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Changeling
In 1928, a boy named Walter Collins went missing in L.A. Several months later a boy was returned safetly to his mother. Problem was, it was the wrong boy. When the mother pointed this out no one would believe her. To avoid admitting to their mistake, the police instead tried to force the mother into accepting her new son and when that failed they declared her crazy and had her locked up in an insane asylum.
It's not a very believable story, apart from the fact that, disturbingly, it's true.
It is difficult to put into words the powerful effect of this movie. The acting was superb. The camera work breath taking. The storyline heavy, to say the least.
Most people think of "Dark Knight" as the big bad of 2008. Well imagine Dark Knight, but with Joker killing kids, no Batman to save the day and being based on a true story. If your looking for a light hearted film, Changeling is probably not the place to start.
The tagline for this movie is, "To find her son, she did what no one else dared." This tagline is somewhat misleading. In fact, the scariest part of this film is that to find her son, Ms Collins does what almost anyone would do, she goes to the people put there to protect us and those people manage to take the worst thing that could ever happen to a mother and make it ten times worse.
The film shows how power can currupt and how absolute power can currupt absolutely. How a police officer, who presumably at some point believed in justice, can grow a God-complex as he rises the ranks when the ranks aren't clean.
Great film. Go watch it. Take tissues.
It's not a very believable story, apart from the fact that, disturbingly, it's true.
It is difficult to put into words the powerful effect of this movie. The acting was superb. The camera work breath taking. The storyline heavy, to say the least.
Most people think of "Dark Knight" as the big bad of 2008. Well imagine Dark Knight, but with Joker killing kids, no Batman to save the day and being based on a true story. If your looking for a light hearted film, Changeling is probably not the place to start.
The tagline for this movie is, "To find her son, she did what no one else dared." This tagline is somewhat misleading. In fact, the scariest part of this film is that to find her son, Ms Collins does what almost anyone would do, she goes to the people put there to protect us and those people manage to take the worst thing that could ever happen to a mother and make it ten times worse.
The film shows how power can currupt and how absolute power can currupt absolutely. How a police officer, who presumably at some point believed in justice, can grow a God-complex as he rises the ranks when the ranks aren't clean.
Great film. Go watch it. Take tissues.
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