Thor: Ragnarok

This is spoiler heavy for a film you should really watch. So if you haven’t seen it yet, what are you still doing here? 

***Spoilers***

For those who don’t know, Thor Ragnarok is based on a story from long ago: The Transformers.

I mean, sure, you can probably see some influences from, like, Marvel Comics and old Norse mythology too, but mostly The Transformers.

For the avoidance of any doubt, I am of course referring to the 1986 animated Transformers movie. Apparently some idiot made some nonsense with a similar name more recently. We do not speak of those monstrosities.

I feel like you’re probably not spotting the Thor connection yet, so let me show you some comparisons:

Optimus Prime/Odin - the powerful leader, who will always be there to protect his people. The loyal viewers of the series so far will know nothing bad will ever really happen while he’s around... holy s*#t what just happened? The film is only just starting!

Hot Rod/Thor - the idiot who likes showing off. You’re going to make him king aren’t you?

Megatron/Loki - the bad ass enemy who uses brain over brawn. Damn, he’s sexy. Based on the series to date he’ll be the big bad again here...

Unicorn/Hela - holy s*#t. You just made Megatron/Loki seriously obsolete. Whoa.

Iron Hide, Wheeljack etc/Warriors Three etc - beloved characters, can’t wait to see what they get up to... wait, did they just... but they come back later right? Right?!?!

Grimlock/Hulk - smash!

I think I’ve proved my point.

Aside from the mass slaughter to make way for a new series of toys, Thor Ragnarok is actually a really fun, humorous film that is definitely worth a watch. It’s a film that focuses on being highly entertaining, spending no time at all on things like “setting the scene”. You are expected to know what’s happened previously so it just dives right in.

But you already knew that, given you’ve already seen it.

What’s interesting about Ragnarok is the potential impact on the rest of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Until now, death in the MCU has been either temporary or a monumental event. Or both. In Ragnarok, the Goddess of Death totally rips up the rule book. Characters die - get over it.

With very little known about Marvel’s plans after the Infinity Wars, is Ragnarok just the start of things to come? 

Don’t worry, I have a feeling everything will work out just fine.

Logan

The early reviews of Logan are in and the vast majority of the internet is in agreement:

Logan is a masterpiece.

It's difficult to find any reviews that give it less than 8 out of 10, a lot of reviews giving it the top marks. The first 100,069 people to rate it on IMDB give it an average score of 8.7.

All of this can only lead me to one conclusion: Everything I'm about to say must be wrong, because I didn't like it.

It's not that I disagree with all the things the rest of the internet has said about the film, but I can't help feeling most of the reviews are missing one crucial point: there is nothing in this movie to "like".

There is no humour, there is nothing light hearted, there is no hope, no joy, no happy ending, nothing to produce any positive feelings in the viewer at all. It is a depressing film from start to finish, and it feels like that's entirely intentional. It feels like the only goal of this film was "to be sad".

I'm not against sad films, but the beauty of a sad film is how, despite everything, that ray of hope shines through. Logan is over two hours of just misery from start to finish.

It starts in the not too distant future of 2029. The X-Men have failed, and are presumably all dead given that no one is around to help an aging Xavier die with dignity. Instead Xavier has been left in the completely incapable hands of a suicidal alcoholic Logan.

How low has Logan sunk? So low that on several occasions throughout the film he tries to abandon a small girl to almost certain death, even when Xavier is begging him to protect her.

After that, things steadily get more depressing as the film goes on. Seriously.

I'm sure you'll go see it anyway, but at least now you've been warned.