Colter Stevens wakes up on a train across from a woman he doesn't recognise, heading to an unknown location with no memory of how he got there. Last thing he remembers he was flying a helicopter in Afghanistan.
...man, how much did he drink last night...?
Unfortunately he doesn't get much time to figure stuff out as 8 minutes later the train explodes and he dies a horrible death.
... which isn't good for a hangover.
The End. Short film.
No, of cause not. Colter wakes up again, in some kind of pod, still no memory of how he got there. A woman called Goodwin appears on a TV screen and tells him he's reliving the last 8 minutes of some other guy's life and he needs to keep reliving it until he can find the bomber to prevent any further explosions.
And with that he wakes up on the train again...
OK, lets get the obvious out of the way. The science in this film is shakey at best. It doesn't really apply any real kind of logic and the ending in particular doesn't even follow the shakey non-science that the movie has set up. If your easily bugged by this kind of thing...
...get a life?
That out of the way, Source Code is a very entertaining film with likable main characters and plenty of explosions...
...or at least one explosion that it shows plenty of times...
In fact, Source Code is so good that one legendary film critic recently said of it:
"'Source Code' is probably the best film I've seen so far this year, I think."
-H. Wilks
Admitedly he probably hasn't seen King's Speech.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Limitless
Eddie is a writer who hasn't written anything and spends most of his time and money on drink. a.k.a a bum.
But all that is about to change when he runs into his ex-bro-in-law who offers him a drug called NZT. Not a very catchy name, admitedly, but it packs a pretty punch.
NZT enables the user to "access 100% of their brain" - i.e. it makes you pretty damn smart.
Now, before we go any further, let me make one thing perfectly clear:
"Drugs are bad, m'kay."
That said, if I were to ever be tempted by a drug (never have, never will), NZT would definately tick all the right boxes.
NZT takes a worthless bum like Eddie and turns him into someone so smart he can predict the stock market. Imagine what it would do to an Actuary with a PhD in statistics...
...anyway, back to the film...
After finally finishing off the book he never started, Eddie turns his new NZT powers to something really useful...
...driving around in fast cars, having sex and jumping into lakes...
...wait, what?
OK, even on NZT, Eddie is pretty easily distracted. Eventually though, he does realise that he may be able to set his sights a little higher and, hey presto, he starts predicting the stock market (for the record, not possible) and making his mega bucks.
But as his stash of NZT starts to run lower, he finally starts to investigate more about this weird little wonder drug...
...and discovers all other users are now either dead or dying...
Its a decent film, with enough going on throughout to keep the viewer entertained and worth a watch. Like with alot of films though, it does suffer from a major lack of common sense, with alot of things that are fairly obvious to the viewer still being completely missed by a character who is suppose to be bloody smart enough to predict the friggan stock market.
As a simple example, why would it take so bloody long to think... "hmmm... maybe I should try and figure out what this drug I've become completely dependent on actually is, whether or not its dangerous and what I should do when I start to run out..."
But still, decent film.
But all that is about to change when he runs into his ex-bro-in-law who offers him a drug called NZT. Not a very catchy name, admitedly, but it packs a pretty punch.
NZT enables the user to "access 100% of their brain" - i.e. it makes you pretty damn smart.
Now, before we go any further, let me make one thing perfectly clear:
"Drugs are bad, m'kay."
That said, if I were to ever be tempted by a drug (never have, never will), NZT would definately tick all the right boxes.
NZT takes a worthless bum like Eddie and turns him into someone so smart he can predict the stock market. Imagine what it would do to an Actuary with a PhD in statistics...
...anyway, back to the film...
After finally finishing off the book he never started, Eddie turns his new NZT powers to something really useful...
...driving around in fast cars, having sex and jumping into lakes...
...wait, what?
OK, even on NZT, Eddie is pretty easily distracted. Eventually though, he does realise that he may be able to set his sights a little higher and, hey presto, he starts predicting the stock market (for the record, not possible) and making his mega bucks.
But as his stash of NZT starts to run lower, he finally starts to investigate more about this weird little wonder drug...
...and discovers all other users are now either dead or dying...
Its a decent film, with enough going on throughout to keep the viewer entertained and worth a watch. Like with alot of films though, it does suffer from a major lack of common sense, with alot of things that are fairly obvious to the viewer still being completely missed by a character who is suppose to be bloody smart enough to predict the friggan stock market.
As a simple example, why would it take so bloody long to think... "hmmm... maybe I should try and figure out what this drug I've become completely dependent on actually is, whether or not its dangerous and what I should do when I start to run out..."
But still, decent film.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Hall Pass
WARNING: DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE
Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s take a look at the painful experience that is Hall Pass.
Two couples, Rick and Maggie and Fred and Grace, are going through some though times. Maggie and Grace are upset because Rick and Fred are obsessed with sex, constantly looking at other girls and making dirty jokes. Rick and Fred are upset because Maggie and Grace have lost all sexual interest towards them, pretending to be asleep whenever an opportunity for sex occurs.
What’s that? Two couples on the verge of divorce? What a great idea for a comedy!
Taking advice from a friend, the wives decide to give the husbands “Hall Passes,” a week off from marriage for them to do whatever they want, get it all out their systems, then come back to have a stronger relationship.
OK, with emotionally painful back stories in place it’s finally time to bring on the comedy.
Shit.
That’s about as far as it gets for comedy. Oh, that and showing some penises. Talking about and showing shit and penises. They don’t even try to work it into the story, they’re just there for no real reason other than “shit and penises are funny.”
OK, done with the comedy, let’s get back to the emotional torture.
So it turns out that the wives decide that they should also be allowed to do whatever they want. Unlike their male counterparts, however, having random sex is pretty easy for a girl, so you can dismiss any more “hilarious” failed attempts. Instead they just sit there, guys approach them and they have to make the “hilarious” decision of whether or not they want to have an affair.
This film has nothing going for it.
It’s not funny. It’s not romantic. It will not leave you with a warm fuzzy feeling. At no point does it trigger any positive emotions at all.
In summary:
DON’T WATCH!
Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s take a look at the painful experience that is Hall Pass.
Two couples, Rick and Maggie and Fred and Grace, are going through some though times. Maggie and Grace are upset because Rick and Fred are obsessed with sex, constantly looking at other girls and making dirty jokes. Rick and Fred are upset because Maggie and Grace have lost all sexual interest towards them, pretending to be asleep whenever an opportunity for sex occurs.
What’s that? Two couples on the verge of divorce? What a great idea for a comedy!
Taking advice from a friend, the wives decide to give the husbands “Hall Passes,” a week off from marriage for them to do whatever they want, get it all out their systems, then come back to have a stronger relationship.
OK, with emotionally painful back stories in place it’s finally time to bring on the comedy.
Shit.
That’s about as far as it gets for comedy. Oh, that and showing some penises. Talking about and showing shit and penises. They don’t even try to work it into the story, they’re just there for no real reason other than “shit and penises are funny.”
OK, done with the comedy, let’s get back to the emotional torture.
So it turns out that the wives decide that they should also be allowed to do whatever they want. Unlike their male counterparts, however, having random sex is pretty easy for a girl, so you can dismiss any more “hilarious” failed attempts. Instead they just sit there, guys approach them and they have to make the “hilarious” decision of whether or not they want to have an affair.
This film has nothing going for it.
It’s not funny. It’s not romantic. It will not leave you with a warm fuzzy feeling. At no point does it trigger any positive emotions at all.
In summary:
DON’T WATCH!
Unknown
Dr Martin Harris and his wife Gina are on a trip to Berlin to attend a conference. On arrival at the hotel, however, Martin suddenly realises he’s left an important briefcase back at the airport. He jumps in the next taxi that comes along to head back to the airport, but ends up in the river with a nasty bump on his head.
He wakes up several days later to discover that his wife no longer recognises him and that he has been replaced by another Dr Martin Harris, who seems to know as much detail about his life as he does.
Don’t you just hate it when that happens?
Things go from bad to worse as, to add to his woes, the Doc soon finds he’s being chased by some rather fickle assassins, who kill some people will quick and brutal efficiency but decide randomly to take a much slower approach with others.
Of cause, the Doc manages to hold his own (don’t mess with PhDs) and begins his quest to figure out just what the hell is going on.
Without spoiling anything, the ending isn’t anything jaw-droppingly amazing but it’s good enough to not ruin the movie e.g. it’s not all just a dream...
...stupid Legend of the Four Kings...
He wakes up several days later to discover that his wife no longer recognises him and that he has been replaced by another Dr Martin Harris, who seems to know as much detail about his life as he does.
Don’t you just hate it when that happens?
Things go from bad to worse as, to add to his woes, the Doc soon finds he’s being chased by some rather fickle assassins, who kill some people will quick and brutal efficiency but decide randomly to take a much slower approach with others.
Of cause, the Doc manages to hold his own (don’t mess with PhDs) and begins his quest to figure out just what the hell is going on.
Without spoiling anything, the ending isn’t anything jaw-droppingly amazing but it’s good enough to not ruin the movie e.g. it’s not all just a dream...
...stupid Legend of the Four Kings...
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Smallville (2001 - 2011)
After 10 seasons and over 200 episodes, Smallville, the story of a young Clark Kent on his path to become the legendary Superman, is finally coming to an end...
... not counting any potential spin-offs, movies, specials etc that they may use to milk it a bit more...
As such, it is time to look back over the good, the bad and the ugly that was Smallville.
The Good: Lex Luthor.
Lex, the multi-millionaire genius with little in the way of either morals or hair, has generally not been well represented whenever Superman tried to leap from comics to live-action. Gene Hackman’s Lex in the original Superman movies was, unfortunately, an idiot who relied on idiots to get anything done and Kevin Spacey’s Lex followed suit, while John Shea’s Lex in The New Adventures of Superman was just a… well the less said the better.
And then came Michael Rosenbaum. Hell yeah. Smallville’s Lex Luthor, as well as being sex on legs, was just perfectly pitched. Everything worked. From his early beginnings, struggling to fight against his father’s evil influence, to his full fledged bastardhood, killing his father, destroying the fortress of solitude and bringing Superman to his knees, Lex hit the spot time and time again.
Thank you Smallville, for putting right what once went wrong.
The bad: The Chefing of Lex and lazy writing.
Smallville, you absolute f***kers!!!
How the hell could you Chef Lex?!?!?!
Side note: To “Chef” a character is to bring a character back for a limited time after the actor(ess) who plays that character has left the show, for the sole purpose of destroying that character in as crappy a method as possible as a final “f*ck you” to the actor(ess) who abandoned ship. Originates from South Park’s treatment of the character Chef.
Seriously, was it any wonder you had such a hard time getting Michael back for the finale? You turned Lex into a burned up zombie (despite no signs of a fire when Michael was last seen or anything like it happening to the humanised Clark) and made his last action the petty act of breaking up Clark from his girlfriend before blowing him up? Worse still, you didn’t even try to finish the storyline that Michael had been part of.
Lex has Clark on his knees and the fortress of solitude is collapsing all around them. What happens next?
...seriously, what happens?!?
Which brings us nicely to the other bad thing about Smallville: the incredibly lazy writing techniques used.
"OK guys, we’ve built up Doomsday for an entire season, how do we finish him off?”
"Drop him down a hole?”
"Done. Let’s go to the pub.”
The Ugly: Clark Kent
Smalville’s Clark Kent is, without doubt, an absolute git.
First of all, we have the basic Clark Kent formula of making it completely obvious to everyone around him that he “has a secret” then making them feel like complete dicks when they want to know what it is.
"I have a secret.”
"Oh, what is it?”
"I can not believe you would ask me that! I thought we were friends! Why can’t you just respect the fact that I need my privacy! I hate you!”
He milks this issue to the extreme with Lex, which contributes quite a lot to pushing Lex over the edge and into the dark side. Even when Lex straight out tells him that he knows his secret he’s still determined to cover it up.
"I can’t believe you would show me hard scientific evidence that you know I saved your life with superhuman abilities! I’m not superhuman! If you were my friend you would believe me when I’m clearly lying to you! I hate you!”
But 10 seasons of guilt tripping everyone around him is by no means the worse of Clark’s crimes. There are lots, lots more. The top 5 being:
5. Ditching Chloe to go and find himself... just after her husband was brutally murdered in front of her.
4. Running away after his mum has a miscarriage - dude, your parents are in tears, you try to help matters by running away from home?
3. Voluntarily using red Kryptonite - doesn’t matter if your upset, this stuff makes you potentially able to kill people.
2. Not helping Lex when his dad frames him for insanity and starts frying his brain, until AFTER Lex has forgotten he has superpowers.
1. Not saving a bunch of orphans from Granny Goodness - he just saves himself and runs away after he finds they have Kryptonite weapons. He NEVER goes back for the kids! Seriously? Dude.
And with that, there’s nothing left to do but grab some pop-corn and snuggle in for the final few episodes, including the joyous return of the mighty Lex...
... and the almost certain let down that will follow.
... not counting any potential spin-offs, movies, specials etc that they may use to milk it a bit more...
As such, it is time to look back over the good, the bad and the ugly that was Smallville.
The Good: Lex Luthor.
Lex, the multi-millionaire genius with little in the way of either morals or hair, has generally not been well represented whenever Superman tried to leap from comics to live-action. Gene Hackman’s Lex in the original Superman movies was, unfortunately, an idiot who relied on idiots to get anything done and Kevin Spacey’s Lex followed suit, while John Shea’s Lex in The New Adventures of Superman was just a… well the less said the better.
And then came Michael Rosenbaum. Hell yeah. Smallville’s Lex Luthor, as well as being sex on legs, was just perfectly pitched. Everything worked. From his early beginnings, struggling to fight against his father’s evil influence, to his full fledged bastardhood, killing his father, destroying the fortress of solitude and bringing Superman to his knees, Lex hit the spot time and time again.
Thank you Smallville, for putting right what once went wrong.
The bad: The Chefing of Lex and lazy writing.
Smallville, you absolute f***kers!!!
How the hell could you Chef Lex?!?!?!
Side note: To “Chef” a character is to bring a character back for a limited time after the actor(ess) who plays that character has left the show, for the sole purpose of destroying that character in as crappy a method as possible as a final “f*ck you” to the actor(ess) who abandoned ship. Originates from South Park’s treatment of the character Chef.
Seriously, was it any wonder you had such a hard time getting Michael back for the finale? You turned Lex into a burned up zombie (despite no signs of a fire when Michael was last seen or anything like it happening to the humanised Clark) and made his last action the petty act of breaking up Clark from his girlfriend before blowing him up? Worse still, you didn’t even try to finish the storyline that Michael had been part of.
Lex has Clark on his knees and the fortress of solitude is collapsing all around them. What happens next?
...seriously, what happens?!?
Which brings us nicely to the other bad thing about Smallville: the incredibly lazy writing techniques used.
"OK guys, we’ve built up Doomsday for an entire season, how do we finish him off?”
"Drop him down a hole?”
"Done. Let’s go to the pub.”
The Ugly: Clark Kent
Smalville’s Clark Kent is, without doubt, an absolute git.
First of all, we have the basic Clark Kent formula of making it completely obvious to everyone around him that he “has a secret” then making them feel like complete dicks when they want to know what it is.
"I have a secret.”
"Oh, what is it?”
"I can not believe you would ask me that! I thought we were friends! Why can’t you just respect the fact that I need my privacy! I hate you!”
He milks this issue to the extreme with Lex, which contributes quite a lot to pushing Lex over the edge and into the dark side. Even when Lex straight out tells him that he knows his secret he’s still determined to cover it up.
"I can’t believe you would show me hard scientific evidence that you know I saved your life with superhuman abilities! I’m not superhuman! If you were my friend you would believe me when I’m clearly lying to you! I hate you!”
But 10 seasons of guilt tripping everyone around him is by no means the worse of Clark’s crimes. There are lots, lots more. The top 5 being:
5. Ditching Chloe to go and find himself... just after her husband was brutally murdered in front of her.
4. Running away after his mum has a miscarriage - dude, your parents are in tears, you try to help matters by running away from home?
3. Voluntarily using red Kryptonite - doesn’t matter if your upset, this stuff makes you potentially able to kill people.
2. Not helping Lex when his dad frames him for insanity and starts frying his brain, until AFTER Lex has forgotten he has superpowers.
1. Not saving a bunch of orphans from Granny Goodness - he just saves himself and runs away after he finds they have Kryptonite weapons. He NEVER goes back for the kids! Seriously? Dude.
And with that, there’s nothing left to do but grab some pop-corn and snuggle in for the final few episodes, including the joyous return of the mighty Lex...
... and the almost certain let down that will follow.
No Strings Attached
Adam is going through a bit of a bad time. He’s broke up with his girlfriend and finding it difficult to move on.
The situation is made worse when, several weeks after the break up, he bumps into his ex....
... in his dad’s house...
Well, at least he has a new mum now.
Needless to say, being a guy, his default reaction is to go out, get drunk and try to sleep with anything that moves...
... which is when he “bumps into” Emma and they start the “No Strings Attached” relationship that gives the movie it’s title.
The film is fairly predicable from this point on and obviously, as with 99% of all such movie relationships, the two end up hopelessly in love with each other. The only slight twist is that, for once, its actually the guy who gets feelings first.
That’s right. Guys have feelings. You heard it here first. (Please reference this article if you ever use this fact.)
Of cause, in reality 99% of these “no strings attached” relationships do not end with wedding bells...
... they usually end with a check up at a clinic.
The situation is made worse when, several weeks after the break up, he bumps into his ex....
... in his dad’s house...
Well, at least he has a new mum now.
Needless to say, being a guy, his default reaction is to go out, get drunk and try to sleep with anything that moves...
... which is when he “bumps into” Emma and they start the “No Strings Attached” relationship that gives the movie it’s title.
The film is fairly predicable from this point on and obviously, as with 99% of all such movie relationships, the two end up hopelessly in love with each other. The only slight twist is that, for once, its actually the guy who gets feelings first.
That’s right. Guys have feelings. You heard it here first. (Please reference this article if you ever use this fact.)
Of cause, in reality 99% of these “no strings attached” relationships do not end with wedding bells...
... they usually end with a check up at a clinic.
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