… yeah, I know, it’s far too hard to believe… let’s talk about superheroes, aliens and demi-Gods instead…
Avengers Assemble is arguably one of, if not the, best comic book movie ever made. It comfortably holds its own against the big boys of Dark Knight and First Class and is a must see for anyone with even the slightest interest in the genre. It is incredibly fun to watch, packed full of likable characters and has the Hulk pounding on Loki.
So far, so good. But what’s the catch?
Well, after thinking long and hard about it, I have decided that the worse thing about this movie is…
… its name!
Seriously? What idiot thought “Avengers Assemble” would be a better name than just “The Avengers”? And to change it only for the UK – who did we annoy over in the US?
The only other issue people unfamiliar with the Marvel Universe may have is a difficulty to follow who everyone is. Although the first Avengers Movie (if you don’t count “The First Avenger”) , this is actually the 6th movie in the series (7th if you count the other Hulk movie, but you really shouldn’t), with the other movies focusing on the main characters separately – so it’s easy to see how someone may get confused. But not to worry, as I provide here a handy guide to everything you need to know about all the main characters before you watch it:
Thor - named after the 4th day of the week, Thor is an alien with superhuman strength and a magic hammer… actually, if you’re planning to do any revision at all for this film, watching Thor would probably be the best one to go for. Of all the films, Thor is the most directly linked, as Avengers focuses on Thor’s brother Loki and his attempt to take over the world using tech from Thor’s home world. Also, Thor is a fun film to watch.
Iron Man – fun loving, alcoholic, billionaire, obnoxious genius who built himself an Iron suit so he can fly around saving the world. Star of two of the previous movies, both good, though the second one doesn’t really offer anything new.
Hulk – miserable bugger who really enjoys putting a downer on everything. His movies have been less successful, his actor and storyline keep changing and he has tried to kill himself. But on the plus side he turns into a very cute little green man who likes to smash stuff up when he’s angry.
Captain America – bit of an idiot, as you would expect from a walking, talking American flag. Got his super strength from some really good steroids back in the war, then was frozen for 70 years until modern day.
Nick Fury – head of secret service S.H.I.E.L.D, he’s the guy trying to pull together all the heroes into one team. But he’s about as trustworthy as, well, a spy and no one really likes him. He is cool though. And by cool I mean Samuel “mother – f*cking” L Jackson cool.
Agent Phil Coulson – works for Nick, but has the advantage of being seriously likable, thus making it much easier for him to get everyone to come together. Great guy.
Black Widow/Hawkeye – other Avengers – deemed not interesting enough to have their own movies, which is fair. Clearly plan to make baby Avengers together at some point in the future.
There. You are now ready to watch it. So why are you still here?
Enjoy.
P.S. If your name happens to be Michael Bay, please take a notebook and pen with you. I know its too late to prevent all the Transformers related deaths and suicides, but you still have time to put the Turtles right. Even if you don’t care about the fans, at least consider the fact that the opening weekend for Avengers is the best selling of all time. Just saying.
